We have an Angel in the out field.
Wednesday evening (10/18/06) I received a phone call that no parent should have to receive. It was from the police – there’s been an accident, please come to the police station.
Our 27 year old son was walking home from the bus stop and was hit by a car and killed instantly.
He was a special needs person but worked at Dierbergs in Florissant (previously at Manchester & Baxter and before that at Brentwood) as a bagger for just under 6 years. He never met a stranger – everyone knew Nick.
The most comforting thing is I talked to him on his cell phone just a few minutes before this all happened, and I told him I loved him.
Nick was a huge Cardinals fan. He shared season tickets for three years, and even has an autographed tee-shirt by Ozzie Smith. So we chose not to put him in a suite and tie (which he hated anyway) and dressed him in his Cardinals jersey, red tee-shirt, and Cardinals ball cap, and his rosary in his hand. We also put his Dierberg’s (the grocery story where he worked) name badge on him as he was so proud of his job.
The wake was Sunday evening and we were dreading it. But we were so surprised how healing it was. Time flew by. The line was out the door and down the hall. Nick knew everyone and everyone knew Nick. But I had no idea that people would wait as much as an hour and fifteen minutes in line to pay their respects. We expected family, church family, and friends would be there but was blown away by the number of managers, co-workers, and even customers came.
Nicholas’ funeral was yesterday (10/23). It was very up-lifting with fast songs (Nick hated the slow ones. During church he would lean over to me and whisper “oh great another slow one.”) The closing song was “Take me up to the Spirit in the Sky” – nothing slow about that one.
At the cemetery, after the closing prayer, Paige, one of our 6 year old twin granddaughters, lead us all in singing “take me out to the ballgame” with a round of applause and cheering. I know – not typical at a funeral but it was just so Nick.
We still don’t know how the details of the accident. We don’t know the man’s name, type of truck, if there are any charges filed, nothing. We have only been told that the accident report would be ready in 5 – 10 days (from 10/18) and the coroners report wouldn’t be ready for 6 – 8 weeks.
One of his uncles (my husband’s brother) asked me, “what did you learn from Nick?” and I quickly replied that Nick taught me to move on, that even if you come to a blockade to keep moving on – find a way around it and move on. So now it’s time to start moving on and getting back to a somewhat normal life again.
But I do need a favor. If you have children, young or adult, hug them every single day – regardless how angry they may have made you, tell them you love them and cherish that embrace.
October 24th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
Dear Pam,
I can not imagine the horror and sorrow you must be feeling right now. You have been in my prayers and thoughts constantly. I feel so lucky to have known Nick- even for a short time. He was truly a shining star. He glowed and always made everyone around him feel great. He is a tribute to you and Paul. I know what terrific parents you were to him. You are truly loved by many people, Pam.
My deepest sympathies,
Lisa Nordmann
October 25th, 2006 at 6:41 am
Dear Pam,
Again, I am sorry for the loss of Bubba. No one can replace a Bubba Bredenkamp! He loved the game of Baseball and I was grateful to have him as our Baseball manager at McCluer High school. He was filled of energy and always wanting to help out. He will be truley missed. Sorry I was not able to make the funeral, due to my military obligation, but I am happy to know that he was buried in his Cardinal uniform!!!! I know he is in heaven watching the world series!
Take care and God Bless!
HM3(FMF)Scott Reid
United States Navy
Camp Lejeune, North Carolina
October 28th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Pam, I’m glad I ran into you the other day. I passed the word of your loss and there are many prayers and children crushed by their parents loving hugs ever since.
In all the good parochial teaching we all have had, they never taught us what to say in times like these. You are loved by many around you for all you do to make others understand reality. Just listening to you for a short time gave me the inspiration to hug the next person I saw, the guy checking me out at SAMS will never look at me the same.
Bubba, I wish I knew him better. God bless you & the family
Rich LoRusso
October 29th, 2006 at 7:55 pm
Pam,
We’re sorry for your loss. We didn’t know Nicholas much, but we did see him with you when you photographed our wedding five years ago.
Our sympathies,
Lance and Jennifer Finney
October 30th, 2006 at 11:40 pm
I may never know you or may never get the chance to meet you. I was just browsing through your site as i ran across on the PPA website. I read your blog and I just wanted to say my condolences on your loss, He is in a better place. Much love and continue success.
My sympathies,
Bevon Findley
November 1st, 2006 at 12:15 pm
This broke my heart Pam.
Praying for you and yours.
B.
November 5th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
Pam:
My heart goes out to you. You don’t know me, nor I you, but I am a fellow photographer. I just want you to know that you and your family are in our prays.
November 5th, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Dear Pam
I was asked to come and view your blog by a student of mine. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Be absolutely assured of my family’s prayers (we pray the rosary each night) and I know that you know – you have a “Saint Nick” in heaven.
Recently one of my clients lost a son (21) in a car acccident who also worked for a food store here in Florida. Like your son…the community poored out to pay respects unlike anything I have ever seen. Seems God is really picking out “his” gems to be with him.
I pray also for you and your family. That you may gain strength from those who are close to you…and people like me who do not know you…but mourn and pray with you. Nobody can ever feel what you are feeling now.
May the time of your reunion with Nick be short.
From one photograher to another…God bless you.
Frank Donnino
November 5th, 2006 at 8:09 pm
Pam & Paul,
I was blown away when I heard something happened to Bubba. I never talked to Bubba but I could tell he was the fun loving type. I wonder were he got that from?! Man, it is still a shock. You are in my thoughts and prayers. And I thank God for letting us experience such a loving person for those 27 years.
Respectfully,
Ray Jezewak
November 6th, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Dear Pam, Paul, and Family,
I am always here if I can help or listen. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you each day. Keep sharing and journaling about Nick’s life with each other as often as possible.
Your friend
Jeff
November 14th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
Pam we were sorry to hear about your loss….I was shocked to see the news.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but it sounds like your son’s life is being celebrated by many.
Take care.
Shani & Jamie Wahl
November 21st, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Pam,
Although I did not know Nick, I feel sure that he had a wonderful life because of his family, friends and their love. A love that he carried with him to a better place.
May your memories of Nick be a source of comfort and the thoughts and prayers of those who care, carry the sorrow of your heart.
PLAY BALL!!
Roni
December 15th, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Hi Pam,
I am sorry that I wasn’t at Bubba’s services, but I had found out after the fact. I was shocked and saddened to hear. I really still can’t believe he is gone. Bubba and I always sat together on the bus, and we had so many good times. We had a lot of fun, and sometimes we had our serious chats. There were times, I’m sure we angered each other but we were always friends. He used to call himself my best buddy, and you know–I think he was. I will miss him, and keep you and your family in my prayers.
Sue Ellison
or as Bubba called me “the Old dude”